I Lost My Way by Yasmin Mogahed

Alhamdulillah I finished this book. Actually this is a very simple book. Very simple English written. I believed this is one of the simplest motivational book. Eventhough it has 12 chapters but every chapter has on the point content. I went to her talks before and reading this book its like hearing her voice all over again. I admired her. The way she explained things in life. Suddenly to me everything make sense. There are a lot of times when somethings happened, they left me puzzled. Most of the time I don't understand whats going on around me. Most of the time I questioned myself with so many whys. Believed me when I say most of the time I walked on earth clueless. With whats happening in my own country and the whole world. I felt so helpless sometimes. I wanted to do something but I don't know where to start, how to begin and whom to refer to. But books like this helps me a lot. It making sense on why it happended the way it supposed to be.

What I've learned - we can't change the world, we can't change people but we can change ourselves. There are a lot of things that we cannot control. So we have to let it go. It is for the best. Best for our mind and soul. Sometimes we have to sit back and let God All Mighty handle everything. Even if it is not to our liking. But He knows best. We just have to do our own part in this world. Take care of ourselves. Who knows by taking care of our ownselves mentally, spiritually and physically, we, in the end could bring some positive changes in people around us. Thats the benefits for us and the world in the end.

The New 2019

Selamat Tahun Baru 2019.

Semoga kehidupan tahun ini menjadi lebih baik lagi dari tahun yang sebelumnya.

Tahun barun ni I do  hope agar I dapat hadapi segala rintangan dgn lebih baik berbanding tahun2 sebelumnya.

Tahun sebelum ini, I did react badly everytime challenges occured. There were times I questioned kenapa ia harus berlaku to me. I mcm tak boleh nak accept. And in returned, I do a lot of nonsense things.

But on the flip side, I did a few things which I planned to do few years down the road. But an opportunity occured to make it happened last year. And this year I already had in my mind a few projects which will kept me occupied throughout the year.

And due to that, I made a concious effort to disangage myself from few social media such as Facebook and Instagram at least for this whole year. I made this decision after some indepth thought. Firstly I cannot gainned and gave benefits to the community out there. Secondly, I am afraid I cannot uphold my intention. Who knows down the road my selfless intention will become a selfish persue.

When I was an active instagrammer, I usually read and re-read my feeds so many times because I wanted it to be something that brought benefits to someone out there. If I felt some uneasiness on certain feeds, I usually deleted them. I am afraid if what I wrote in the name of goodness were actually seen as arrogant in the eyes of Allah. I'm afraid what I wrote and will write will become my burden sins that will eat me up in Hereafter.

That's why I decided to take myself off from social media because I worried I cannot control myself. The intention is to finish my mission Insya-Allah this year and will see what happen along the way.

I just wanted to focus on my blog writing as I considered this a platform to familirize myself in writings.

My new year resolutions actually are not too complicated as I used to have. Just some basic simple and achieveable goals. Insya-Allah. Ameen...

The Cuckoo's Calling

An introduction to a war veteran and private investigator - Cormoron Strike. His background and childhood. With his experiences, he had become an acute investigator.

It also introduce how he met his secretary, Robin and how their relationship evolved during their 1st venture together and in the end she decided to work for him.

The 1st serious job he took as a favour of his late best friend turned out to be the most exciting case in his business life. It was a breakthrough for his sloppy business.

As he was struggling to build up his new life after being in a long on and off again relationship with his girlfriend, how he had to cope with his unwanted famous root and a complicated family childhood.

But all that had helped him be more closer in the familiarity of the case he was going through. With the help.of his ever brilliant assistant/secretary, Robin who herself have to deal with her own inner turmoil and a domestic relationship at home.

Both of them complement each other. Their thinking similarly even thought Robin was just begun developing her own sense of investigative curiosity. For her, even initially, she was not sure of what to make of his new temporary boss, but as she learned to absorb her new environment and thank God, her quick thinking, she ended up making up her mind to make her final decision. A decision that would change her life forever. A life she's been secretly keep at the back of her mind and heart.


In the end they did solve the mystery involving the death of London famous supermodel - Lula Landry. The death initially looked like a suicide but actually a very well plan murder excuted by someone who did not think was going to be back tracked by Cormoron to the main source itself.

#kakinota : The Honest Truth - Dan Gemeinhart

10⭐/10

"All the world's a storm. We all get lost sometimes. We look for mountains in the clouds to make it all seem like it's worth it, like it means something. And sometimes we see them. And we keep going." The Honest Truth, Dan Gemeinhart.

It is about a 12-year-old boy, Mark who ran away from home - from his overprotective parents, his bestfriend and his problems.

He planned to climb a mountain - Mount Reinier, his secret dream shared only with his bestfriend, Jesse and a secret promise he made with his grandfather. He knew he could trust Jesse with his secrets, not telling anyone even though those secrets had made Jesse lived with fear - for Mark's safety and health and from being discovered lying.

What started as a simple planned journey turn out into an adventure of a lifetime where Mark learned about what life is all about - an unconditional love, trust, friendship and accepting the truth about harsh reality.

With only Beau, his dog, as his faithful companion, they faced hardships together along the journey that almost cause their lives. Mark met some people along the way who willingly help them without asking anything about him - the kindness of strangers.

When he reach his destination and start climbing the mountain despite the harsh weather, which almost killed his dog and almost freeze him to death, he realised the truth about all his thinkings - from a sick boy point of view who is afraid of dying. A boy who thought he could face his life alone.

#kakinota : Cold-Hearted Rake by Lisa Kleypas

8⭐/10

"There are times in life when all of us have to bear the unbearable."

When their cousin, Theo died in an accident, the title Earl of Treneor went to Devon Ravenel. One of the two last people left in the lineage. His brother, Weston is next in line.

He unwillingly inherited an old estate saddled with huge debts, 20,000 farm lands with 200 tenants farms, three beautiful cousins that never been in the society and a widow.

Lady Treneor, Kathreen felt responsible to take care of her sister-in-laws. She knew how difficult their position will be to find suitors - a title without dowry. Being  raised in a strict family and just married Theo few days earlier, she blamed herself for the accident. She had kept a secret related to the incident. Kathreen is aware the curse running in the Ravenel bloodline including Devon and Weston.

When both of them arrived from London to visit the estate with intention to sell and pay off debts, Kathreen decided to stand up against them for the sake of her sister-in-laws, the workers and tenants. An incident happened before Devon and West went back to London, had made him think twice about his decision to sell the old estate much to West dismay.

While Devon struggling to find ways to pay off debts, West went to oversee works done in the estate. The only way to finance was to rent a land for a railway route. Some sacrifices needed to be made. While  a negotiation persued, a shocking discovery was made on the land. Something was hidden in that rented land. Did Devon made a mistake? Or is there an escape clause in the deal?

At the same time relationships blossomed into something more meaningful that nobody could denied the connection between two people.

"I can't think about failure. If I do, I'll be doomed from the start."

That was the word that struck me. It is true when change happened, one feel intimidated and one first reaction is to say big NO especially when needs to move out from comfort zone. But if one takes the opportunity and try very hard, something beautiful might happen.

Even though the story focus about two people but I find that the supporting characters are far more interesting. I hope there will be a story about each of them soon.

#notakaki : The Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell

7⭐/10

"Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard to make sense of something that most people would have give up on after thirty seconds."

It is about men and women who do things that are out of ordinary.

Research shown the difference between an ameteur and a professional is their attitude.

Professionals increased their practise time steadily every year. They don't work just harder or even much harder than everyone else, they work much much harder.

The book was divided into 2 categories.

Part 1 :- OPPORTUNITY

Success is the result of accumulative advantages. And that little difference leads to an opportunity that makes difference a bit bigger.

In other word, those who are successful, who are most likely to be given the kinds of special opportunities that lead to further success.

(Yep..... couldn't argue with the fact. For example, let say when a student gets good results, he/she will be given lots of opportunities  such as government/state/corporate grands, admission to the best school in the country and the said school is provided with the best facilities. So in my opinion for such students, failure is not an option. In fact they must strive for excellence.)

For a person to succeed, there are few factors to be considered :-

1- Where and when we grew up. (Our parents, their level of educations/qualifications, their jobs and our relatives and friends too)

2- The cultural we belong to especially for Asian with a lot of dos and don'ts and to take into considerations the religious background.

3- The legacies passed down by our forebearers.

Achievement = talent + preparation,
thus come the 10,000 hours requirement to achieve level of mastery in everything we aim to be.

Part 2 :- LEGACY

Cultural legacies are powerful forces. They have deep roots and long lives. They persist, generation after generation, virtually intact, even as the economic and social and demographic conditions that spawned them have vanished and they play such role in directing attitudes and behavior that we cannot make sense of our world without them.

As said in Part 1, the same factors do affect the probability of a person's successful (success arises out of the steady accumulations of advantages)  :-

1 - When and where you are born.

2 - What your parents did for a living.

3 - What the circumstances of your upbringing.

All make a significant difference in how well you do in the world.

Each of us has his/her own distinct personality. But overlaid on top of that are tendencies and assumptions and reflexes handed down to us by the history of the community we grew up in and those differences are an extraordinarily specific.

Our ability to succeed at what we do is powerfully bound up with where we're from.

Born at the right time with the right parents and the right ethnicity.

Disadvantaged kids simply don't have the same inherent ability to learn as children from more privileged backgrounds.

Outliers are those who have been given opportunities - and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them.

When I completed the book, I began to see the pattern here.

I fell into the 'disadvantaged kids' category. I grew up with a sister and both parents working to meet ends. When school holidays, my privileged cousins/friends went overseas for holidays or attended motivational camps to fill up their time. They attended music classes, ballet classes, self-defence classes and even as simple as English short term courses. I envied them.

What a 'disadvantaged kids' like me did? I read books (borrowed from library) and sometimes played with my other cousins and neighbours (after completed house chores) until 7pm (that was my parents cut off time). We lived in an area full of drug addicts and dealers. Hence the cut off time.

I am quiet and curious person. With so much time in hand, I loved to watch my surrounding. I learned a lot by observing and listening. I even watched how the addicts took their doses. I also knew when a begger is not an actual begger but an undercover cop.

During semester break, my privileged friends worked as intern in some companies while I worked in a supermarket. When completed my diploma, I was given an opportunity to do my degree in one of the prestigious university in the country (it's was a dream came true at that time) but I had refused the offer as my parents couldn't afford the fees and I was not able to get any grands or loans. I was devastated.

Until present, while most of my previleged friends/cousins had achieved or almost at their career peak, I'm still here. I had encounters so many series of failures until I lost count and had no tears to shed.

Have I completed my 10,000 hours?  I have no idea......

But what I learned by being 'disadvantaged kids' - when life knock you down, don't complain. Just stand up and move forward.  One day at a time...


Ciao..

#notakaki : #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso

I read the book twice - an e-book initially before I felt there were so much informations needed to re-read so bought it as my New Year To-Be-Read (TBR) book.

It was the best book I've read so far and I can see myself picking up time and again and still I could find some different perspective about it. (And no.... I did not idolize you, Sophia).

Let's just say that the book is similar to today's commercial hair shampoo - 3 in 1 or maybe 4 in 1, a book which consisted 3 or more topics that can benefit a wide variety of people out there - life experiences, working advises from an employee and an employer POV, motivational notes about everything and anything.

3 pieces of advises though :-

1. Don't ever grow up.
2. Don't become a bore.
3. Don't ever let the MAN get to you.

For me what I like most is how she taught us how to think creatively. How to take advantage and create something valueable out of it. If we don't have enough money, find cheaper or even free ways to get by. She taught us how to use modern technology to our advantages. Find ways to survive. Think creative. It's what we called - Street Smart way of thinking. Thinking for survival. Well..... unless you're born rich. That's another story.

Cool?

Topics in discussion are :-

1  -  The Chronology of a #GIRLBOSS 

        Telling us a girl who grew up and made messes in finding her true passion.

2  -   So You Want To Be A #GIRLBOSS?

        Life is Short. Don't be lazy. Work our asses off.

3  -  How I Became a #GIRLBOSS

       There are secrets opportunities hidden in every failure. Go and find them. Remember the late Steve Job advice.

4  -  Shoplifting (and Hitchhiking) Saved My Life.

       Not advisable to choose this way if possible. Hitchhiking might be a norm in US but not in some other part of the world especially women. We don't want to end up getting raped and being thrown in some forests/jungles/rivers/sea -  alive or dead. The black and white is not the only path to success. Keep an eye on gray as well.

5  -  Money Looks Better in the Bank than On Your Feet

       Money spells FREEDOM. Cash is KING. A big NO-NO is as soon as our income increases we increase our spending too. The shitest way is when we spend money went there is no or not enough at all but it's a norm today. It happened all over the world.

6  -  Hocus - Pocus : The Power of Magical Thinking

       Treat your mind like your money. Don't waste it. We control our thoughts and our thoughts control our lives. Throw out the negativity. It's a toxic for our body and soul. Create  our own modern day sigil.

7  -  I Am Anti-Fashion

       Be yourself. Find the way until we find our own place. Accept who we truly are.

8  -  On Hiring, Staying Employed And Firing.

        Tells us in the how-to from an employee and an employer POV. Advises we often get but ignored (me included.)

9  -  Taking Care of (Your) Business

        A 10 thousand hours of practice is advisable but JUST DO IT can be more rewarding. Search for knowledge in Google. Watch YouTube and adapt accordingly with the situation.

10 -  Creativity is Everything

Think creatively and adapt accordingly - as a way of life. Remember the gray path and don't ever fall into the Dark Side.

11 -  The Chances

10⭐/10

#notakaki : An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

9.5⭐/10

"Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after. It was a test of courage, of strength.

There are two kinds of guilt. The kind that's a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. Let your guilt be your fuel. Let it remind you of who you want to be. Draw a line in your mind. Never cross it again.

Fear is only your enemy if you allow it to be. Too much fear, and you're paralyzed. Too little fear and you're arrogant. Fear can be good. It can keep you alive. But don't let it control you. Don't let it sow doubts within you. When the fear takes over, use the only thing more powerful, more indestructible, to fight it : Your spirit. Your heart."

One secret. One night. One moment that define Laia's life forever. 

One secret. One dream. One mission that change Elias's life for something greater.

One fear binds them together. 

She is a slave. He is a Mask on a big mission that can alter both of their life  - for better or for worse.

One mistake. One guilt causes them to face the hard truth about what are at stake. Fear and guilt has created something strong into their lives. A promise was made and a journey has just began.

#notakaki : GREY by E L James

My secret indulgence.

I was drawn to read the Grey Trilogy due to the non-stop debate about the books . It was a hot topic back then (mostly in negative P.O.V). While in some part of the world, the kind of lifestyle is acceptable but in the other part of the world where traditions/religions play greater role in the community, it was seen as something against the norm. People questioned if it is acceptable to indulge in it.

I take a simple stance - if it is a CONSENSUAL and COMPROMISE with each other, then why not. If both of them are happy and they wanted to spice up their life, why not. If it can safe or make a marriage stronger and 'till death do us apart', why not. If it can save our better half from indulging an adultery website, why not.

I feel this book is less intense from the previous three. Maybe it is because men in nature do feel less emotional and more rational in their mind and heart. It is NICE to be able to see a different side of Christian Grey apart from his domineering exterior.

Sadly, it does not explained in-dept his relationship with Elena, except just a brief here and there as we knew, when Ana persist, because I think she plays a pivotal role in shaping who is Christian now and her profound effect in his relationship with other women.

We will also knew a softer side of Jason Taylor, who plays an important role in Christian - Ana relationship, who care deeply for his boss besides his reticence personality. And also Christian's close working relationship with Ros as his trusted right hand staff . She is in charge in most of GEH daily business activities when Christian is not around.

I believe the most interesting part is knowing what had happened from Christian P.O.V prior to their break-up - the confusion, misunderstood and miscommunication on both side. How both of them suffered and cope throughout  their short separation. And how in the end, Christian came to a conclusion to win Anastasia back - hearts and flowers.

                                                       9/10

#notakaki : Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight

It started with A Promise.

A promise to discuss.

A promise to have 'The Talk'

A promise that had left Kate embark into a journey of a lifetime to find the truth about her daughter's live she thought she known.... to Reconstructing Amelia's day to day until that fateful day.

Kate Baron, a single mom and a law partner, is always busy. She had to. She had no other choices. She wants to give her daughter the best of everything..... or she thought.

Amelia wants only one thing her mom couldn't provide - time and attention. She's going through a period of her lifetime - teenagedom. There are a lot of questions needed to be answered if only they could have the talk - a promise her mom has yet to fullfil.

When she was invited to join a secret group, she agreed..... initially. She thought it would be fun since she has a lot of time alone - her bestfriend, Sylvia is busy with her new boyfriend, Ian and her mom is busy most of the time.

But when the tasks starting to get harder and meaner, Amelia started to doubt her decision. A part of her (rational self) tells her to back off but the other part (emotional self) refuse to listen if it means not having to meet the love of her life, Dylan who is a group member too.

When the situation getting worsen, she was booted out. Feeling lonely, betrayed and confused, Amelia turn to her e-mail buddy, Ben whom Sylvia accused as a fake gay boy. When Ben let her down too and her mom couldn't spend the time and attention she needed most, she confessed everything to Sylvia. Even though Sylvia felt angry and cheated, she stick to Amelia, helping her going through her most difficult times at school. It seems that the group is going all out for revenge including having her accused of cheating her paper and jeopardizing their relationship. They stick together though until that fateful day.

Kate felt guilty. She blamed herself. If only she could spend more time with Amelia. If only they have that talk - a promise she did not fulfill. If only she arrived earlier at school on that fateful day. She try to accept the fact about Amelia even though deep in her heart she did not believe her daughter would do it. She knew her daughter well...... or she thought.

When Kate received a message saying, "Amelia didn't jump." she realized deep down inside she refused to believe Amelia was able to that. With a new officer in charge of the case, they went through every single of the evidences they could find and question every single person involved who in contact with Amelia - Sylvia, Ben, Dylan, the headmaster, the teacher and even Kate's boss. Every single person had been at one time in contact with Amelia until that fateful day. They thought they try to do the best they could to help Amelia.

In the end, Kate had to accept the truth. No matter what mistakes she had done in the past, it had cause her innocent daughter's life. Something she will never forget. Something she had to live with until the end.

                                                                            10/10