I Lost My Way by Yasmin Mogahed

Alhamdulillah I finished this book. Actually this is a very simple book. Very simple English written. I believed this is one of the simplest motivational book. Eventhough it has 12 chapters but every chapter has on the point content. I went to her talks before and reading this book its like hearing her voice all over again. I admired her. The way she explained things in life. Suddenly to me everything make sense. There are a lot of times when somethings happened, they left me puzzled. Most of the time I don't understand whats going on around me. Most of the time I questioned myself with so many whys. Believed me when I say most of the time I walked on earth clueless. With whats happening in my own country and the whole world. I felt so helpless sometimes. I wanted to do something but I don't know where to start, how to begin and whom to refer to. But books like this helps me a lot. It making sense on why it happended the way it supposed to be.

What I've learned - we can't change the world, we can't change people but we can change ourselves. There are a lot of things that we cannot control. So we have to let it go. It is for the best. Best for our mind and soul. Sometimes we have to sit back and let God All Mighty handle everything. Even if it is not to our liking. But He knows best. We just have to do our own part in this world. Take care of ourselves. Who knows by taking care of our ownselves mentally, spiritually and physically, we, in the end could bring some positive changes in people around us. Thats the benefits for us and the world in the end.

The New 2019

Selamat Tahun Baru 2019.

Semoga kehidupan tahun ini menjadi lebih baik lagi dari tahun yang sebelumnya.

Tahun barun ni I do  hope agar I dapat hadapi segala rintangan dgn lebih baik berbanding tahun2 sebelumnya.

Tahun sebelum ini, I did react badly everytime challenges occured. There were times I questioned kenapa ia harus berlaku to me. I mcm tak boleh nak accept. And in returned, I do a lot of nonsense things.

But on the flip side, I did a few things which I planned to do few years down the road. But an opportunity occured to make it happened last year. And this year I already had in my mind a few projects which will kept me occupied throughout the year.

And due to that, I made a concious effort to disangage myself from few social media such as Facebook and Instagram at least for this whole year. I made this decision after some indepth thought. Firstly I cannot gainned and gave benefits to the community out there. Secondly, I am afraid I cannot uphold my intention. Who knows down the road my selfless intention will become a selfish persue.

When I was an active instagrammer, I usually read and re-read my feeds so many times because I wanted it to be something that brought benefits to someone out there. If I felt some uneasiness on certain feeds, I usually deleted them. I am afraid if what I wrote in the name of goodness were actually seen as arrogant in the eyes of Allah. I'm afraid what I wrote and will write will become my burden sins that will eat me up in Hereafter.

That's why I decided to take myself off from social media because I worried I cannot control myself. The intention is to finish my mission Insya-Allah this year and will see what happen along the way.

I just wanted to focus on my blog writing as I considered this a platform to familirize myself in writings.

My new year resolutions actually are not too complicated as I used to have. Just some basic simple and achieveable goals. Insya-Allah. Ameen...

The Cuckoo's Calling

An introduction to a war veteran and private investigator - Cormoron Strike. His background and childhood. With his experiences, he had become an acute investigator.

It also introduce how he met his secretary, Robin and how their relationship evolved during their 1st venture together and in the end she decided to work for him.

The 1st serious job he took as a favour of his late best friend turned out to be the most exciting case in his business life. It was a breakthrough for his sloppy business.

As he was struggling to build up his new life after being in a long on and off again relationship with his girlfriend, how he had to cope with his unwanted famous root and a complicated family childhood.

But all that had helped him be more closer in the familiarity of the case he was going through. With the help.of his ever brilliant assistant/secretary, Robin who herself have to deal with her own inner turmoil and a domestic relationship at home.

Both of them complement each other. Their thinking similarly even thought Robin was just begun developing her own sense of investigative curiosity. For her, even initially, she was not sure of what to make of his new temporary boss, but as she learned to absorb her new environment and thank God, her quick thinking, she ended up making up her mind to make her final decision. A decision that would change her life forever. A life she's been secretly keep at the back of her mind and heart.


In the end they did solve the mystery involving the death of London famous supermodel - Lula Landry. The death initially looked like a suicide but actually a very well plan murder excuted by someone who did not think was going to be back tracked by Cormoron to the main source itself.

#kakinota : The Honest Truth - Dan Gemeinhart

10⭐/10

"All the world's a storm. We all get lost sometimes. We look for mountains in the clouds to make it all seem like it's worth it, like it means something. And sometimes we see them. And we keep going." The Honest Truth, Dan Gemeinhart.

It is about a 12-year-old boy, Mark who ran away from home - from his overprotective parents, his bestfriend and his problems.

He planned to climb a mountain - Mount Reinier, his secret dream shared only with his bestfriend, Jesse and a secret promise he made with his grandfather. He knew he could trust Jesse with his secrets, not telling anyone even though those secrets had made Jesse lived with fear - for Mark's safety and health and from being discovered lying.

What started as a simple planned journey turn out into an adventure of a lifetime where Mark learned about what life is all about - an unconditional love, trust, friendship and accepting the truth about harsh reality.

With only Beau, his dog, as his faithful companion, they faced hardships together along the journey that almost cause their lives. Mark met some people along the way who willingly help them without asking anything about him - the kindness of strangers.

When he reach his destination and start climbing the mountain despite the harsh weather, which almost killed his dog and almost freeze him to death, he realised the truth about all his thinkings - from a sick boy point of view who is afraid of dying. A boy who thought he could face his life alone.

#kakinota : Cold-Hearted Rake by Lisa Kleypas

8⭐/10

"There are times in life when all of us have to bear the unbearable."

When their cousin, Theo died in an accident, the title Earl of Treneor went to Devon Ravenel. One of the two last people left in the lineage. His brother, Weston is next in line.

He unwillingly inherited an old estate saddled with huge debts, 20,000 farm lands with 200 tenants farms, three beautiful cousins that never been in the society and a widow.

Lady Treneor, Kathreen felt responsible to take care of her sister-in-laws. She knew how difficult their position will be to find suitors - a title without dowry. Being  raised in a strict family and just married Theo few days earlier, she blamed herself for the accident. She had kept a secret related to the incident. Kathreen is aware the curse running in the Ravenel bloodline including Devon and Weston.

When both of them arrived from London to visit the estate with intention to sell and pay off debts, Kathreen decided to stand up against them for the sake of her sister-in-laws, the workers and tenants. An incident happened before Devon and West went back to London, had made him think twice about his decision to sell the old estate much to West dismay.

While Devon struggling to find ways to pay off debts, West went to oversee works done in the estate. The only way to finance was to rent a land for a railway route. Some sacrifices needed to be made. While  a negotiation persued, a shocking discovery was made on the land. Something was hidden in that rented land. Did Devon made a mistake? Or is there an escape clause in the deal?

At the same time relationships blossomed into something more meaningful that nobody could denied the connection between two people.

"I can't think about failure. If I do, I'll be doomed from the start."

That was the word that struck me. It is true when change happened, one feel intimidated and one first reaction is to say big NO especially when needs to move out from comfort zone. But if one takes the opportunity and try very hard, something beautiful might happen.

Even though the story focus about two people but I find that the supporting characters are far more interesting. I hope there will be a story about each of them soon.

#notakaki : The Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell

7⭐/10

"Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard to make sense of something that most people would have give up on after thirty seconds."

It is about men and women who do things that are out of ordinary.

Research shown the difference between an ameteur and a professional is their attitude.

Professionals increased their practise time steadily every year. They don't work just harder or even much harder than everyone else, they work much much harder.

The book was divided into 2 categories.

Part 1 :- OPPORTUNITY

Success is the result of accumulative advantages. And that little difference leads to an opportunity that makes difference a bit bigger.

In other word, those who are successful, who are most likely to be given the kinds of special opportunities that lead to further success.

(Yep..... couldn't argue with the fact. For example, let say when a student gets good results, he/she will be given lots of opportunities  such as government/state/corporate grands, admission to the best school in the country and the said school is provided with the best facilities. So in my opinion for such students, failure is not an option. In fact they must strive for excellence.)

For a person to succeed, there are few factors to be considered :-

1- Where and when we grew up. (Our parents, their level of educations/qualifications, their jobs and our relatives and friends too)

2- The cultural we belong to especially for Asian with a lot of dos and don'ts and to take into considerations the religious background.

3- The legacies passed down by our forebearers.

Achievement = talent + preparation,
thus come the 10,000 hours requirement to achieve level of mastery in everything we aim to be.

Part 2 :- LEGACY

Cultural legacies are powerful forces. They have deep roots and long lives. They persist, generation after generation, virtually intact, even as the economic and social and demographic conditions that spawned them have vanished and they play such role in directing attitudes and behavior that we cannot make sense of our world without them.

As said in Part 1, the same factors do affect the probability of a person's successful (success arises out of the steady accumulations of advantages)  :-

1 - When and where you are born.

2 - What your parents did for a living.

3 - What the circumstances of your upbringing.

All make a significant difference in how well you do in the world.

Each of us has his/her own distinct personality. But overlaid on top of that are tendencies and assumptions and reflexes handed down to us by the history of the community we grew up in and those differences are an extraordinarily specific.

Our ability to succeed at what we do is powerfully bound up with where we're from.

Born at the right time with the right parents and the right ethnicity.

Disadvantaged kids simply don't have the same inherent ability to learn as children from more privileged backgrounds.

Outliers are those who have been given opportunities - and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them.

When I completed the book, I began to see the pattern here.

I fell into the 'disadvantaged kids' category. I grew up with a sister and both parents working to meet ends. When school holidays, my privileged cousins/friends went overseas for holidays or attended motivational camps to fill up their time. They attended music classes, ballet classes, self-defence classes and even as simple as English short term courses. I envied them.

What a 'disadvantaged kids' like me did? I read books (borrowed from library) and sometimes played with my other cousins and neighbours (after completed house chores) until 7pm (that was my parents cut off time). We lived in an area full of drug addicts and dealers. Hence the cut off time.

I am quiet and curious person. With so much time in hand, I loved to watch my surrounding. I learned a lot by observing and listening. I even watched how the addicts took their doses. I also knew when a begger is not an actual begger but an undercover cop.

During semester break, my privileged friends worked as intern in some companies while I worked in a supermarket. When completed my diploma, I was given an opportunity to do my degree in one of the prestigious university in the country (it's was a dream came true at that time) but I had refused the offer as my parents couldn't afford the fees and I was not able to get any grands or loans. I was devastated.

Until present, while most of my previleged friends/cousins had achieved or almost at their career peak, I'm still here. I had encounters so many series of failures until I lost count and had no tears to shed.

Have I completed my 10,000 hours?  I have no idea......

But what I learned by being 'disadvantaged kids' - when life knock you down, don't complain. Just stand up and move forward.  One day at a time...


Ciao..

#notakaki : #GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso

I read the book twice - an e-book initially before I felt there were so much informations needed to re-read so bought it as my New Year To-Be-Read (TBR) book.

It was the best book I've read so far and I can see myself picking up time and again and still I could find some different perspective about it. (And no.... I did not idolize you, Sophia).

Let's just say that the book is similar to today's commercial hair shampoo - 3 in 1 or maybe 4 in 1, a book which consisted 3 or more topics that can benefit a wide variety of people out there - life experiences, working advises from an employee and an employer POV, motivational notes about everything and anything.

3 pieces of advises though :-

1. Don't ever grow up.
2. Don't become a bore.
3. Don't ever let the MAN get to you.

For me what I like most is how she taught us how to think creatively. How to take advantage and create something valueable out of it. If we don't have enough money, find cheaper or even free ways to get by. She taught us how to use modern technology to our advantages. Find ways to survive. Think creative. It's what we called - Street Smart way of thinking. Thinking for survival. Well..... unless you're born rich. That's another story.

Cool?

Topics in discussion are :-

1  -  The Chronology of a #GIRLBOSS 

        Telling us a girl who grew up and made messes in finding her true passion.

2  -   So You Want To Be A #GIRLBOSS?

        Life is Short. Don't be lazy. Work our asses off.

3  -  How I Became a #GIRLBOSS

       There are secrets opportunities hidden in every failure. Go and find them. Remember the late Steve Job advice.

4  -  Shoplifting (and Hitchhiking) Saved My Life.

       Not advisable to choose this way if possible. Hitchhiking might be a norm in US but not in some other part of the world especially women. We don't want to end up getting raped and being thrown in some forests/jungles/rivers/sea -  alive or dead. The black and white is not the only path to success. Keep an eye on gray as well.

5  -  Money Looks Better in the Bank than On Your Feet

       Money spells FREEDOM. Cash is KING. A big NO-NO is as soon as our income increases we increase our spending too. The shitest way is when we spend money went there is no or not enough at all but it's a norm today. It happened all over the world.

6  -  Hocus - Pocus : The Power of Magical Thinking

       Treat your mind like your money. Don't waste it. We control our thoughts and our thoughts control our lives. Throw out the negativity. It's a toxic for our body and soul. Create  our own modern day sigil.

7  -  I Am Anti-Fashion

       Be yourself. Find the way until we find our own place. Accept who we truly are.

8  -  On Hiring, Staying Employed And Firing.

        Tells us in the how-to from an employee and an employer POV. Advises we often get but ignored (me included.)

9  -  Taking Care of (Your) Business

        A 10 thousand hours of practice is advisable but JUST DO IT can be more rewarding. Search for knowledge in Google. Watch YouTube and adapt accordingly with the situation.

10 -  Creativity is Everything

Think creatively and adapt accordingly - as a way of life. Remember the gray path and don't ever fall into the Dark Side.

11 -  The Chances

10⭐/10

#notakaki : An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

9.5⭐/10

"Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after. It was a test of courage, of strength.

There are two kinds of guilt. The kind that's a burden and the kind that gives you purpose. Let your guilt be your fuel. Let it remind you of who you want to be. Draw a line in your mind. Never cross it again.

Fear is only your enemy if you allow it to be. Too much fear, and you're paralyzed. Too little fear and you're arrogant. Fear can be good. It can keep you alive. But don't let it control you. Don't let it sow doubts within you. When the fear takes over, use the only thing more powerful, more indestructible, to fight it : Your spirit. Your heart."

One secret. One night. One moment that define Laia's life forever. 

One secret. One dream. One mission that change Elias's life for something greater.

One fear binds them together. 

She is a slave. He is a Mask on a big mission that can alter both of their life  - for better or for worse.

One mistake. One guilt causes them to face the hard truth about what are at stake. Fear and guilt has created something strong into their lives. A promise was made and a journey has just began.

#notakaki : GREY by E L James

My secret indulgence.

I was drawn to read the Grey Trilogy due to the non-stop debate about the books . It was a hot topic back then (mostly in negative P.O.V). While in some part of the world, the kind of lifestyle is acceptable but in the other part of the world where traditions/religions play greater role in the community, it was seen as something against the norm. People questioned if it is acceptable to indulge in it.

I take a simple stance - if it is a CONSENSUAL and COMPROMISE with each other, then why not. If both of them are happy and they wanted to spice up their life, why not. If it can safe or make a marriage stronger and 'till death do us apart', why not. If it can save our better half from indulging an adultery website, why not.

I feel this book is less intense from the previous three. Maybe it is because men in nature do feel less emotional and more rational in their mind and heart. It is NICE to be able to see a different side of Christian Grey apart from his domineering exterior.

Sadly, it does not explained in-dept his relationship with Elena, except just a brief here and there as we knew, when Ana persist, because I think she plays a pivotal role in shaping who is Christian now and her profound effect in his relationship with other women.

We will also knew a softer side of Jason Taylor, who plays an important role in Christian - Ana relationship, who care deeply for his boss besides his reticence personality. And also Christian's close working relationship with Ros as his trusted right hand staff . She is in charge in most of GEH daily business activities when Christian is not around.

I believe the most interesting part is knowing what had happened from Christian P.O.V prior to their break-up - the confusion, misunderstood and miscommunication on both side. How both of them suffered and cope throughout  their short separation. And how in the end, Christian came to a conclusion to win Anastasia back - hearts and flowers.

                                                       9/10

#notakaki : Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight

It started with A Promise.

A promise to discuss.

A promise to have 'The Talk'

A promise that had left Kate embark into a journey of a lifetime to find the truth about her daughter's live she thought she known.... to Reconstructing Amelia's day to day until that fateful day.

Kate Baron, a single mom and a law partner, is always busy. She had to. She had no other choices. She wants to give her daughter the best of everything..... or she thought.

Amelia wants only one thing her mom couldn't provide - time and attention. She's going through a period of her lifetime - teenagedom. There are a lot of questions needed to be answered if only they could have the talk - a promise her mom has yet to fullfil.

When she was invited to join a secret group, she agreed..... initially. She thought it would be fun since she has a lot of time alone - her bestfriend, Sylvia is busy with her new boyfriend, Ian and her mom is busy most of the time.

But when the tasks starting to get harder and meaner, Amelia started to doubt her decision. A part of her (rational self) tells her to back off but the other part (emotional self) refuse to listen if it means not having to meet the love of her life, Dylan who is a group member too.

When the situation getting worsen, she was booted out. Feeling lonely, betrayed and confused, Amelia turn to her e-mail buddy, Ben whom Sylvia accused as a fake gay boy. When Ben let her down too and her mom couldn't spend the time and attention she needed most, she confessed everything to Sylvia. Even though Sylvia felt angry and cheated, she stick to Amelia, helping her going through her most difficult times at school. It seems that the group is going all out for revenge including having her accused of cheating her paper and jeopardizing their relationship. They stick together though until that fateful day.

Kate felt guilty. She blamed herself. If only she could spend more time with Amelia. If only they have that talk - a promise she did not fulfill. If only she arrived earlier at school on that fateful day. She try to accept the fact about Amelia even though deep in her heart she did not believe her daughter would do it. She knew her daughter well...... or she thought.

When Kate received a message saying, "Amelia didn't jump." she realized deep down inside she refused to believe Amelia was able to that. With a new officer in charge of the case, they went through every single of the evidences they could find and question every single person involved who in contact with Amelia - Sylvia, Ben, Dylan, the headmaster, the teacher and even Kate's boss. Every single person had been at one time in contact with Amelia until that fateful day. They thought they try to do the best they could to help Amelia.

In the end, Kate had to accept the truth. No matter what mistakes she had done in the past, it had cause her innocent daughter's life. Something she will never forget. Something she had to live with until the end.

                                                                            10/10

#notakaki : The Secret Pearl by Mary Balogh

Two person meet under a peculiar condition in one night in London. Both of them have different intentions at the same time but for the same result - survival.

A lady do what she have to do to survive her harsh life condition.

A gentleman gave in the the pressure of life to survive a painful marriage.

An incident bind both of them forever.

Fleur was under an extreme condition which had forced her to trade the last and most valuable thing in her life for survival. Adam having given in to the pressure of his marital problems, in exchange for a few moment of selfish bliss, felt somehow needed to repent his mistake.

He employed Fleur as a governess to his 5 year old daughter, Lady Pamela, living under the same roof with his duchess. They married due to an obligation - a loveless marriage. The Duchess was in love and will always be with someone else. Adam married Sybil to save her from social condemnation and to save a child, whom he loved since she was born, from a lifetime disgrace. Sybil couldn't stand married to Adam but unable to do anything because the man she's in love with is a rake. She hated Adam for his kindness and his sense of responsibility.

When her haunted past coming back, Fleur had decided and make up her mind to confront them instead of running away like she just did for the last few months. Without doing that, she knew she will never have a peaceful life she dreamed of. But she refused to surrender without a fight. She felt she needed to tell her side of story even if no one will listen. She had to try.

Time had soften Adam feeling toward Fleur. From feeling angry to guilty, the feeling had blossomed into something forbidden. Something that he cannot expressed freely to her due to his condition but he expressed them by being attentive and concern to her well being.

When Fleur finally went away to face her past demon, Adam went out all the way to find her. He had told himself that he couldn't abandoned his employee when in need. He used his rational mind to convince his heart that Fleur is his responsibility thus he will do what ever within his power to keep her safe and to help solve her problems.

In life, sometime mind and heart seldom act in concert with each other. There are times when rational mind couldn't overcome heart intuitive. Sometime a soul can see what a mind couldn't.

They broken their promises toward each other - one night, one moment to cherish forever. That is what Adam was able to give Fleur and she accepted it wholeheartedly. They agreed to move on with one memory to cherish forever. Adam vowed to honor his marriage. Fleur will not be a social disgrace.

An incident occurred had freed Adam from his loveless marriage. With a renew determination, he went to find Fleur to persuade her to build their life together. The one they had been wanting and dreaming all this while. What seem like an impossible quest turn out to be an endearing life to look forward too.

                                                                              10/10

#notakaki : Midnight Pleasure by Eloisa James

Lady Sophie York, the only daughter of Marquis and Marchioness of Brandenburg, had rejected all twenty-two proposals of marriage. She has her reasons.

When she was caught in the arms of Patrick Foakes by one of the most talkative women in London society, Lady Sarah Prestlefield, Sophie still refused to marry Patrick. She has her reasons.

When she finally agreed to be betrothed to Braddon Chatwin, Earl of Slaslow much to her parents' relief and to the society surprise, she has her reasons to do so.

Patrick Foakes - soon to be Duke of Gisle - was fumed when Sophie refused to accept his marriage proposal, not that he planned to marry initially. He has his reasons.

He was enraged and insulted when he knew Sophie had agreed to marry his long time friend, an amiable but dull Braddon. He believed Sophie had chosen Braddon because of his title and he had none at the moment.

When Sophie suggested to Braddon to elope to Gretna Green, Braddon refused to give in to her threats and demands. He has his own reasons too.

So he persuaded Patrick to help him with his own revised plan without Sophie knowledge. Patrick reluctantly agreed to do the deed and it seems he has his own reasons.

When both of them were caught in a compromised situation..... again, Sophie had no choice but to accept Patrick's proposal. She silently brace herself to a future of marrying a rake especially the one that doesn't want children but only one.

Throughout their early marriage, when trust at an infancy stage coupled with miscommunication on both parties had almost ripped apart their fragile marriage and at the expense of a child - their only child Patrick agreed to Sophie.

Both of them try to do everything they could to bring back the spark into their lifeless marriage. In order for them to be able to trust each other, they need to start communicate with honesty and clearly what were in their minds and hearts. There will be no second-guessing what the other party might or might not think or do. Then and only then both, Patrick and Sophie, can truly enjoy their bliss of a lifetime marriage with children they dreamed of.


                           

                                                                            7/10

#notakaki : If the Shoe Fits by Megan Mulry

Devon Heyworth meet Sarah James at his brother, Max, the Duke of Northrop wedding. Sarah is Devon's sister in law, Bronte Talbott's BFF. He is the best man and she is the maid of honor. Since they are to spend a lot of time together preparing for the weeding, Devon hinted to Sarah for a fast track weekend affair and to his surprised, she agreed.

Even though, Sarah came from an affluent family, she works hard for her business, Sarah James Shoe Collections. She is never a person who take her family wealth for granted. She wanted to prove to her father who own the Simpson-James Department Store chains that she is able to be successful without the family influence.

When Devon suggested for a whirlwind romance over the weekend wedding, she quickly agreed. Thinking it is easier to ditch the playboy later and move on with her already busy life without feeling guilty but it seems that both of them can hardly move through their days without thinking about each other.

Being born with a silver spoon life makes Devon take everything easy. Why work hard when money aplenty? What more to achieve in life when money can buy everything in the world including love, respect and affection?

Sarah always seeking her father's approval. The man had been so detached from her since her mother passed away 13 years ago. The only way Sarah knew how is by becoming successful in her career just like him and maybe one day she will be able to earn her father's love and respect she longed for.

When Devon waltz into her life and create chaos, she panicked. Sarah decided the best way to avoid him is by having minimum contact but then it is not an easy task as both of them related in one way or another.

Devon has to prove to Sarah that he is a worthy man for her. He needed to change his modus operandi as his flamboyant and fast lifestyle did not suit her and will make her slip through his fingers once and for all.

                             

5/10

The plot of the story is simple. Nothing to shout about but I loved loved loved the language used. It is fascinating and refreshing. Not many @$#& words. I do wonder if that is what the elitists/royalists used in their day to day conversation or is it just for the sake of this story. Either way I'm impressed.

#notakaki : Enchanting Pleasures by Eloisa James

Lady Gabrielle Jerningham had travelled from India to London to be married to her father's best friend's son, Peter Dewland. Being raised outside of London society makes Gabby, as she is fondly known, different. She is half French. She is curvy. She is an outspoken and witty.

Peter is the second son of Viscount Dewland. He appreciated women who is tall, graceful, sylphs, cool and sophisticated. He loved women whose personal taste made them a match for his exquisitely groomed personality.

Could their marriage work despite the glaring differences?

Can an immaculate and proper Peter cultivate fineness required by the London ton into a voluptuous chatterbox Lady?

Add into the picture, Peter's older brother, Erskine Dewland or Quill, a shrewd investor and businessman. An accident years before has left him plagued by headaches - the kind that grows more excruciating with strenuous exercises for days much to their father dismay.

Which make Gabby questioned Quill why she was betrothed to the second son of the family?

Why didn't the family informed her father, Lord Richard Jerningham about the mistake?

Or was it not a mistake at all?

Gabby came to London with a mission. A promise she would never betray. A promised to protect with her own life if needed be. A promised that will have a huge impact in British foreign policy, stir up the management of East India Company and the Indian monarchy.

Nobody ever think twice what Gabby able to do. Nobody even look at her with admirable eyes. They laughed. They made jokes about her but Gabby never let those dampened her responsibility. She did what needed to be done effortlessly in the upper circle of British political society without them knowing the truth.

But not everybody can be fooled by the chatter Lady. Being a sharp investor and successful businessman makes Quill able to see more in depth into the whole situation. He believed Gabby was hiding or protecting something or someone and he's going to find out.

                       

                                                                                8/10

#notakaki : How To Disgrace A Lady by Bronwyn Scott

London most talked-about male, Lord Merrick St. Magnus did nothing by halves - be it in his debauchery, wagers and in love.

He accepted an invitation from a friend Jamie Burke to attend a midsummer house party in Kent to irk his father.

Together with Ashe Bedevere and Riordan Barrett, they travelled to Kent to avoid London for a while.

Merrick met Alixe in an utmost unconventional way - she was wondering in the wood, away from hustle and bustle at home and he was in his birthday suit having fun with his mates swimming in the pond.

The problem started when Merrick accepted a wager from Archibald Redfield to kiss a lady in the library in the middle of the night. Merrick strode confidently and waited. Only to be surprised that a certain lady is in fact Alixe Burke herself.

When they get caught in unconventional compromise situation, the Earl of Folkestone gave Merrick the altimatum. Make her daughter the Toast of the Season or marry her himself at Season's end as penance for his failure.

Never a husband material, Merrick vowed to win the wager and his lessons started immediately the next day until the end of Season.

Since both of them had no other way to escape their predicament, Alixe half heartedly agreed to obey all his instructions and he will assist her to complete her manuscript.

Merrick taught her how to entice men and how to be prim and proper according to the society.

Things got complicated when emotion tangle in the process.

Will Alixe ever trust Merrick with all his scandals?

Did he need to create another to make her believe in him?

Never doubt it for a moment.

He was Merrick St Magnus and he did nothing by halves.

                   

                                                                               8/10
                   

#notakaki : Good to Great by Jim Collins

Can a good company become a great company?

or Can a good person become a great personality?

From their extensive research, they concluded few important points :-

1. It is POSSIBLE to turn good company into great in the most unlikely of situation.

Not only a company can improve to be the great, a person too with perseverance and consistency. Once we know what we want to achieve in the future, it is easier to focus our energy toward them.

2. Larger than life celebrity leaders who ride in from the outside are NEGATIVELY correlated with taking a company from good to great.

Which precisely make sense as people who grew with the company  knew the inside out of the company. They are familiar with the company work ethic and culture. They have an in depth knowledge about the company. They have good relationship with other employees and employer and they are able to communicate comfortably with each other.

3. The good to great companies not only focus principally on what need to be done to be great but also focus their energy on what should not be done or what to avoid or stop doing totally.

The faster an organization identified their focus, they are able to channel all their energy, time and resources in the right direction as swiftly as possible.

4.Technology can ACCELERATE a transformation but it cannot CAUSE a transformation.

Using the technology as a mean to get informative input for a company to learn more about what need to be done so they can produce even a better output to capture the targeted market segment.

5. Mergers and acquisition  play virtually no role in igniting a transformation from good to great. According to Jim, two big mediocrities joined together never make one great company.

But what if two companies merged to become an even bigger entity and have bigger funds to be able to compete with the big boys globally?

6. The good to great companies paid scant attention to managing change, motivating people or creating alignment.

When employees feel appreciated, they feel motivated to give their best for the company. When employees know they have equal chance for growth and be rewarded accordingly, they less likely feel dissatisfied.

The findings....

The Timeless Principle of Good to Great :

1. Good is ENEMY of Great

Few people attain great lives because most of us loved settle for a good life. (Ouchhh...). It is also true for an organization or a country. When we feel GOOD in our comfort zone especially very very good, it makes us fear or lazy to step out of our zone into an unknown battle to emerge as a GREAT winner.

2. Level 5 Leadership

                      

Who is Level 5 leader?

An individual who blends extreme personal humility with intense professional will

         HUMILITY + WILL = LEVEL 5

Level 5 leaders have distinctively characteristics such as self-effacing, quiet, reserved and even shy.

Level 5 leaders are self-effacing individuals who displayed the fierce resolve to do whatever needed to be done to make it great.

3. First Who.... then What

First get the RIGHT people on board.
Off load the wrong or unsuitable members (unproductive family members included if needed)
Get those RIGHT people in the RIGHT seat.
then figured out WHAT need to be done and WHAT need to avoid totally.
Now MOVE.....

4. Confront the Brutal Facts (Yet Never Lose Faith)

Maintaining unwavering faith is very challenging.We need a very high mental strength to put us through the brutal facts, whatever they might be until we prevail in the end. Never lose faith in God and ourselves to do the best we can. One step at a time is better than being still at any one point of time. There are a lot to learn - diversify knowledge. Meeting new people - expand networking.

5. The Hedgehog Concept (Simplicity within the Three Circles)
                        

Just because something is our core business or been doing it for so long or one of the pioneer in the industry, does not necessarily mean we can be the best in the world. We should know when enough is enough. Confront the brutal facts. Accept them. Restart. Rebuilt. Rediscover. Recharge to the new frontier.

6. A Culture of Discipline

When we are self-discipline, we don't need hierarchy. Combination of culture of discipline and an ethic of entrepreneur will produce the magical alchemy if great performances.

7. Technology Accelerators

Good to great companies never use technology as the primary means of igniting a transformation. Sometimes they are pioneers in the application of carefully selected technologies.

8. The Flywheel and the Doom Loop

Those who launch revolutions, dramatic change programs and wrenching restructuring have high probability of FAILURE to make transition. The good to great transformation never happened in one fell swoop. The process take a relentlessly pushing a giant heavy flywheel in one direction, build momentum up to a point of breakthrough and beyond.

Interesting finding. Can't argue with them. It is based on facts and figures. Not only for an organization. It could be apply to anything. Dramatic changes scare us. We scare the unknown. When we're in danger, we retaliate as a form of self-defence. It's human basic instinct. No matter how noble the intentions are, dramatic changes will turn the whole situation from good to doom.

9. From Good to Great to Built to Last.

In the end, when we reach our destination - the GREAT ( it'll take years to get there with the right formula), it's time for us to find the right method to sustain our effort.
                       

                          

                                                                              8/10

#notakaki : Self-Compassion by Dr Kristin Neff

According to Dr Neff, Self-Compassion being composed by 3 main components :-

1. Self-Kindness : being warm toward ourselves when facing difficulties.

2. Common Humanity : recognizing that suffering and failures as part of shared human experiences.

3. Mindfulness : a non-judgemental receptive mind state without trying to deny our flaws.

Self-Compassion can also be define as accepting of who we truly are - lock, stock and barrel.

If we don't loved ourselves wholly and completely, it means that we are saying to ourselves that we are not good enough.

Human is made imperfect.
Love, connection and acceptance is our birthright.
Everyone is WORTHY of compassion. It start with us acknowledging ourselves - We ARE GOOD ENOUGH and WORTHY ENOUGH.

Self-compassion creates a caring space within ourselves that is free of judgement.
A place that sees hurt and failures as part of shared human experiences and to allow or to acknowledge those experiences with KINDNESS and CARING.

Self-compassion doesn't mean that my problems are more important than others.
It just means that my problems are worthy of being attended too like others.

Research shown that self-compassion allows us to flourish, to appreciate the beauty and richness of life in what ever situation we're dealing with.

Self-compassion will keep us moving forward to make a better place.

Self-compassion is slightly different from self-esteem.

Self-esteem is a global evaluation of self-worth.

Low self-esteem can lead to depression and lack of motivation. High self-esteem correlated to narcissism, self-absorption, prejudice, discrimination etc.

In today modern world, it is NOT OKAY to be an average person - to have flaws and shortcomings.

An average person is deem as failure by society.

An average person will be left out, laugh at and discriminate by society.

We have to be above average and perfect to be accepted.

Being human does not mean being better than others. Being human means we encompass the full range of human experiences. Being human means we are average in many ways.

Sadly, some of us, in wanting to be accepted by social group tend to be hard on ourselves - sometimes too hard. We use harsh words. Words sometimes we never even use to our worst enemy. We think that if we're being to soft, we will be lack in motivation to be the best.

Research shown that in our body, we have a system called Threat Defence System. When we sense that we're in danger or feel threaten , physically or emotionally, our body will produce high ADRENALINE and CORTISOL to prepare us for retaliation and self-defence. Since the source of threat is within ourselves which mean we (the attacker) attack ourselves (the victim), it creates a lot of adrenaline and cortisol and will lead to feeling highly stress and depress. High adrenaline and cortisol cause chaos into our body system and as a way to protect, our body system will shut down to allow the system to make sense of what is going on internally.

But as a mammal, we also have Mammalian Caregiving System which produces OXYTOCIN and OPIATES. (the feel good hormone) which mean that our body are programmed toward WARM, GENTLE TOUCH and SOFT VOCALIZATION. That is the main reason why we are prone to listen more, cooperate more and open up more to warm smiles, gentle and caring touches and soft and encouraging voices. When we feel safe and comfort, our adrenaline and cortisol level reduce and our oxytocin and opiates level increase, we are in our optimal mind state to do our best.

Individuals who grow up with highly critical parents in childhood are much more likely to be critical toward themselves as adult.

People with critical parents learn the message early on that they are so bad and flawed that they have no right to be accepted for who they are. They will soon come to believe that only by being perfect will they be worthy of love.

Children with critical parents will believe that self-criticism will prevent them from making future mistakes.

It doesn't makes sense when parents spend the first 12 months of the children lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 telling them to sit down and shut up.

Self-criticism is a type of safety behaviour designed to ensure acceptance within the larger social group.

Self-criticism serves as a submissive behaviour because it allow us to ABUSE ourselves first before others.

This mechanism stems from our natural desire NOT TO BE REJECTED and ABANDONED and makes sense in terms of our most basic survival instincts.

The social group that is most important for survival is our IMMEDIATE FAMILY. That is why no matter how difficult the situation at home, children have no choice but to rely on parents in order to get by in this world and they soon will grow up with a belief that their life are what life suppose to be.

Self-criticism was strongly related to depression and dissatisfaction in life.

Happiness is found when we go with the flow of life. Self-compassion helps navigate us.

Research shown that self-compassion is very strong related to mental well being, less stress, less anxiety, less depression and less perfectionism.

People with high self-compassion are generally happy and content, living life more meaningful, have greater motivation in life and more self-connected to others.

Self-compassion provide more stable sense of self-worth than self-esteem because we feel worthy not because we have reach some societal standard but because we are human being worthy of LOVE.

                         

                         

                                                                          10/10

#notakaki : Landline by Rainbow Rowell

Georgie McCool and Neal Grafton knew their marriage is in trouble for sometime but both of them refused to address "the Elephant" in the house.

Georgie is an ambitious tv writer who plans her life accordingly.

Neal is a house husband who act instinctively.

Georgie loved L.A and planned their whole life there.

Neal hated city life and dreamed to take his family somewhere quiet.

When an attractive offer came up just days before their well planned Christmas vacation to Omaha, Georgie eagerly accepted the offer,  thinking that she can persuade Neal to cancel their plans but Neal refused this time. He give in most of the time because he loved Georgie  more that he hated everything else.

In the end, Georgie was left alone to complete her projects while Neal took the girls - Alice and Naomi to his family home in Omaha as planned.

Problem solved?

Not quite...

Suddenly "the Elephant" decided to appear to make itself look bigger than both of them realised. Georgie panic...  Is Neal leaving her for good? Is the marriage going to survive this time? She couldn't concentrate. All she could think about is Neal...

How to solve a long distance communication in this modern era?

Cell phones seem like a life saver in our modern technology.

Only when the other person picks them up.

Neal has a habit of ignoring the messages and voice mails.

Georgie has a habit of forgetting to charge her cell phone.

The only way for her get in touch with Neal is through the magical of Landline.

They discussed in depth what went wrong with their marriage through the magical of landline. They listed out their main concerns and try to find the magical feeling they once shared by re visit the most important moments in their life - how the first met, when Neal proposed (on the magical Christmas day), their wedding day and their 5 days honeymoon. Through out the process they were able to see clearly what matter them most despite their problems - their deep loved for each other.

For once in her life, Georgie did something off the record. Something from her deepest heart. Something that feel right at the moment. To save her marriage.

                     

9/10

#notakaki : Sway - Kat Spears

Sway aka Jesse Alderman is a well known person in Wakefield High School.

Everybody can count on Jesse to get things done from the sloppiest student, Andrew to the principle Mr Burke but... with a price.

To them as long as things get done in which ever manner Jesse think suitable and confidential, they'll pay the price.

For Jesse, when they pay him, they unwittingly bound themselves to him as he held the most precious weapon - their secrets.

To Jesse, commodities like fake IDs, buying dopes or term papers, pass through like water but informations hold value that commodities don't. It can be use to his own benefits. It can make or break people.

When Ken Foster, captain of football team, hires Jesse to help him to win Bridget Smalley with a price, he agreed.

Jesse followed and monitored Bridget daily routine for 2 weeks. They became friends. He knew almost everything about her - what matters her most, what question she will ask, what she want in a friendship and relationship. Jesse told Ken about it and taught Ken what he should do.

Jesse also met Bridget's younger brother, Pete who is differently abled person with celebral palsy. They became closed friend and it made Ken suspicious.

Things get complicated when Jesse let his emotion get in the way. Even though he has feelings for her, he couldn't betray Ken because both of them held secret that will destroy each other.

What will Bridget and Pete do when they know the truth?

Can a friendship or relations based on farce last long?

Things got worst when his feeling for Bridget knocked some senses to make him walk out from his present life but he has to pay them with a price....

Because they also have what Jesse has....

His SECRETS.

                           

Nothing good or bad,

only thinking makes it so.

8/10

#kakinota : What I Know For Sure - Oprah Winfrey

"What exactly do you know for sure?"

"If this is the last day of your life, would you spend it the way you're spending today?"

That were the questions Oprah asked her readers at the beginning of the book.

How do we answer them?

Do we need to take time and think about it?

Or....

Do we answer them spontaneously?

The book is actually a compilations from her monthly column in O Magazine.

It told us about her life experiences - her joy and pain, her ups and downs and people she met in her life  -  world famous, richest, powerful or just ordinary people.

Oprah wrote about what are the most important factors in her life and how we can learn from them :

1. Joy -  Oprah believed that every day brings a chance for us to live the life as we want. We can either waltz boldly onto the stage of our life and be happy about it or we can sit quietly aside receding into the shadow of fear and self-doubt. The choice is ours. Choose WISELY.

2. Resilience - We have our own life journey. We are each responsible for it. When we feel the earth moving, bring ourselves back to the NOW. Remember.... we still breathing. We still alive. We survived. In this moment (NOW), we 're just need to find a way to step onto higher ground. We'll handle whatever shake up the next moment brings when we get to it. Be PRESENT.

3. Connection - It is a basic human need. We crave for it. Through connection we get love. But the most basic love we can give to ourselves is love and respect to our own self - sincerely. When we are able to do that, we will have our peace of mind and soul. And in return our soul will be able to give love to other as well. Appreciate OURSELVES.

4. Communication - It is a key factor in any relationships. A lot of bad and broken relationships are due to bad communications. And a lot of good things happen too when we are able to communicate clearly to one another. Take time to truly listen without judgement and give enough time to wait for an answer. HONESTY and SINCERITY will go a long way.

5. Gratitude - A feeling of gratitude can transform us from a negative person to an optimistic individual. Oprah writes 5 things she was grateful for on daily basis especially in the morning. It is a good habit that we need to instil into our hectic life. A dose of positive affirmations before starting our daily routine is like a simple healthy morning breakfast to our soul. What a simple healthy breakfast can do to our body is the same happen to our souls. We feel energize. We feel we can conquer whatever obstacles we're going to face that day. And our soul feel free and happy too. Feel the BLESSED.

6. Possibility -  The biggest thrill we can ever achieve is to live the life of our dreams. When we get the chance, go for it. Open ourselves to as many possibilities as we can. Who knowns maybe one of them can lead us to living the life we dream of. The true meaning of courage is to get back on track every time we stumble and fall.To be afraid and then with knees knocking and shaking, we step forward anyway- one small baby step a time. Oprah remind us to dream very big dreams, to work very very hard and after we've done everything that needs to be done then we pray. In GOD we trust.

7. Awe - Every day holds with it the possibility of seeing the world with awe and wonder. A miracle is seeing the world with light in our eyes. It is acknowledging there's always hope and possibility where none seems to exist. Many people are so closed to miracles that even when one boldly staring at them in the face, they label it coincidence. Miracles  often involve the simplest things in life. Open our eyes and heart and we'll begin to see them. Be ALERT.

8. Clarity - We need to evaluate all requests before we commit ourselves to something that we have no passion or interest of. Be selective. Focus on what matter to us most rather than worrying about pleasing others. We cannot give in just to make them like us. Even we dislike certain people in our life no matter how good they are. We need to STOP and TAKE A LOOK at our own needs. Let go the things that beyond us. Go mindless. Think of nothing. Let our mind be free and go wondering. Remind ourselves that THIS very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. Know THY SELF.

9. Power - We have the power to be what we want to be. We have the power over our mind and soul. We have the power to transform ourselves from pettiness to optimism. To be excellent is to always doing or giving our personal best. If we want the best world has to offer, we need to offer and give our best to the world first. I personally believed "What goes around comes around" while Oprah believe "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." . We can't get excellent inputs if we keep give the world our bad outputs. Karma doesn't work that way. World doesn't work that way too whether we like it or not. Be FAIR.

I think this is a wonderful way to close this year chapter of my life and welcoming the new year with a healthy dose of positive affirmations from Oprah -  no less . It makes me feel how blessed and lucky I am just to be ALIVE and HEALTHY.

So....

"What do I know for sure?"

I know for sure - whatever happen next year, I thank GOD for the past experiences I've gone through. I treasured them - the good and the bad. I pray GOD will give me good HEALTH, lots of LOVE to give to my loved ones and the STRENGTH to pick myself up and move forward.


HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015.


                           

                         

                                 10/10